it's like getting hit in the head with a 2x4

so a few years ago, i had a friend tell me about this metaphor of getting hit with a 2x4 by God. i always thought it was a weird concept, but you don't fully understand it until you have it happen to you. this wake up call of sorts. God's wake up call. i assure you that it happens when you least expect it and typically when you need it the most. what a great God.
i woke up this morning feeling disappointed and i'm sure i am to blame for this weird mood. when my brain is on overdrive from trying to overthink every single second of my life, i grow disappointed. disappointed that i can't figure out what to do, how to proceed.
so, after sending tyler off to work, i started checking my e-mail/facebook, i was overwhelmed with comments of well wishes and prayers for tyler and i. i can't even begin to explain how grateful he and i are for these. as i keep perusing, i find that a friend of mine has posted a link to another blog. if you know anything about me, i LOVE blogs. love getting a peek into someone's life. this particular blog details a little girl's, daisy, battle with cancer. (http://prayfordaisy.tumblr.com/) This little six year old girl is battling a tumor the size of a nerf football. i am so awe struck to see this little girl still so full of life after all she's been through. they recently posted a video showing their journey over the past 7 months. at the end, they share that there is no trace of cancer left in her body. how amazing! they talk about how daisy was recently spinning a globe and kissing it. when asked why she was doing this, she told her parents that she was kissing everyone who was praying for her. i continued reading with a mix of tears and goosebumps at how trusting this family is. as i finish reading, i see a new update from 9 hours ago. it reads- "Just found out that my daughter’s (Daisy-6) cancer is back. The tumor is huge. We are still in the ER and devastated, but trusting Jesus."

this is about the time the 2x4 came. how is it this family when facing such a trial can turn their face to God with an open mind and open heart? yet here i am, stuck and feeling pity for myself. disappointed that i can't control my own life. but here i am, i have an amazing support system full of family and friends who are praying and praying for me that i will discover that things are going to be okay. God will provide. i may not be exactly what i want, but maybe it's time to just surrender and let things happen as they are supposed to. there is only so much that i can do. the rest is up to God.

letting go and letting God.
cj.