saying goodbye to the past 4 years.

Two weeks. Really? 2 weeks ago, I uprooted my life again to move back to Ft. Wayne. Why? Because it made the most sense. My family is here. My boyfriend is here. My make-believe job is here. So, the better question became why not. As weird as it sounds, Muncie became my home. It became the place that I fit. I found my niche and it may not have been ideal, but it worked. I was content. I am always aiming to be content and realized that I finally found it. But alas, July 31st came and what a rainy, crappy day it was. The loathing of moving and unpacking commenced as usual. Fast-forward about two weeks and here we are.

However, I never could have imagined how hard it would be to say goodbye to a place that has been home for so long. The past 4 years have been full of so many hello and too many goodbyes. I thought I was done with that. It’s almost as though I am saying goodbye to a part of my life. This life that is full of great memories, amazing friends who became like family, and a bit of me. Now that I’m gone, I have never felt more alone. My friends that became my family are scattered all around the country. These memories have become photographs that will get looked through when I’m feeling nostalgic. The piece of me that I left in Muncie will stay there. It’s in papers that I wrote that will be passed on to future student teachers, the gum I left on the gum tree, my footprints that were left around campus. But now that I’ve graduated and moved, it’s time. Time to figure out how to make the life I lived merge and continue in the life I now live. I don’t know how to do it yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out, but I sure hope I do.

I realize that this whole thing may sound selfish, whiny, and self-centered, but I don’t care. For once, I am taking time to focus on me and the people/things I need around me. I’ve come to find that you never know how lucky you are until you get to a place where you are forced to realize that you are a combined effort of everyone you have ever met. Without the people I have met, I don’t know where I would be today.