I recently realized how much I miss blogging. Most of the time I don’t share with people how I’m feeling so by journaling, I am able to process things and get a better understanding of how I’m feeling. So, while you all may not care what is going on and how I feel, I don’t really care!
How is it that I spent 4 years at school and now I have no lead of anything that is going to happen in my future? I know that many people have been and are in a similar situation, but most people aren’t like me. For the past 6 years or so, I have had a road map for my life. Everything has always been mapped out and that’s how I like it. But now, I’ve begun to realize that my life is this chaos mess that is beginning to DRIVE ME CRAZY! I want a plan. I want a purpose. I want a job that I LOVE. But as of now, I am completely stuck. There’s no place to go. So, I wait.
In 19 days I will be leaving Muncie for good! It is the strangest feeling in the world. When I graduated, all I want was to leave. Now all of a sudden, I look around and realize that I don’t want to leave the friends I have made here. These friends have become my family. Although it sounds crazy, I have the absolute greatest co-workers in the world. If I could figure out how to have the job I want while getting to see these amazing people everyday I would do it! I have been so completely emotional about all of this stuff that I don’t know how Tyler puts up with it. I’m sure, as the days get closer, it is going to get even worse.
So while I may be at a stand still, I am praying for guidance and peace of mind, because really I don’t know what else to do! I'm sure you have no interest in hearing all about this, but such is life. I can't thank you all enough for the support that you have given me.
love~
cj.
2 comments:
Sorry, sweetie, but it's really hard to always hard to find a job you LOVE right away. Sometimes you have to work for a little while just to make money until you can find that perfect job. It's out there ...
And having a plan is great but life doesn't always follow the plan so you have to be willing to adapt to what you get. These days i can't even plan out my week ... let alone a few years ... but i wouldn't change it for the world!
CJ - I have always been in awe of you and your drive and determination. I have some ideas for job searching for you to look into -- you have probably done most of these, but what the hey.
I'll send it to your e-mail account.
Keep the faith, keep the fun, and keep on keeping on. Never ever ever give up!
Love you oodles,
Joan
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